Asexuality & Virginity: Not Synonymous

Why are virgin’s left out of sexual discussions? In this generation of raunchy culture where women feel liberated by being openly sexual and promiscuous without shame, how is a twenty something year old virgin supposed to feel, especially when all his/her friends are having sex often and can’t seem to live without it? Like an outcast. Well, that depends on their situation. If the person claims that they are saving their virginity for that one “special” person or waiting to get married, then I don’t think they’ll necessarily feel so bad about being a virgin, they might even be proud (even if they think their missing out in the meantime). If they have religious beliefs concerning pre-marital sex, then they’ll probably be a little judgmental about their friends’ sexual behavior and think they’re being immoral. If they are choosing to abstain from sex until they’re finished with school or getting their career established, then they might not feel so horrible about being an “old” virgin either. However, all of this does not address the frustration a virgin might feel when all their friends and family had sex ages ago and doesn’t want to talk to them about sex because they don’t want to hurt their “virgin ears”. In fact this may make the virgin feel really left out and abnormal.
To make this dilemma even more problematic and stigmatizing, there are even studies that conclude that losing your virginity later on, around the ages of twenty one to twenty three, can cause sexual health problems later on according to research done at Columbia University and the New York State Psychiatric Institute's HIV Center for Clinical and Behavioral Studies. (For more information go to abcnews.com and enter “virginity” in the search bar) So should a virgin feel proud or ashamed of their sexual purity in contemporary American society? If the virgin has to deal with peers and family members who render them asexual then they will more than likely feel ashamed, but if the virgin is socially engaged as a sexual being that has not yet experienced sexual intercourse, then they will probably feel more secure with their sexuality. The bottom line is this: Virgins are not asexual and should not be excluded from sexual discussions just because they are virgins. They have as much, if not more, sexual desire than a sexually active person. So feel free to talk to a virgin about sex because they will understand, for the most part anyway.

Whores and Virgins going Head to Head!!!

Virgin or whore, those are the only two categories for women in America. Once a woman admits to having more than 2 sexual partners she is deemed a whore and several other names. I find this very strange especially since some men while dating avoid virgins like the plague but when these same men hear wedding bells they begin searching for a virgin to marry. Why it is that once an American woman reveals her sexual understanding to an American man all hell breaks loose? After reading an article that revealed that a new generation of young women in England has more sexual experience and partners than men, I thought about how traditional sexual ideals governs America. (This is the article if anyone is interested : http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/3685314/Young-women-have-more-sexual-partners-than-men.html) Sadly these ideals do not just influence a preference for men they also control the lives and thoughts of women too. Women are afraid to be seen as someone with sexual knowledge because those with that type of experience are the whores that give their bodies away freely. These traditional views of sex have severely confined American women to the Elizabethan age when clearly we are in the 21st century. Ironically the Elizabethan age connects directly to England but it is America that holds on so strongly to this era’s ideals about women’s sex lives or the lack there of.
I believe that a woman should be able to have as many or more sex partners than a man so that she knows what pleases her in bed. A woman should be able to tell her partner what to do to please her just as a man can guide a woman to pleasing him. This double standard towards sex is mind boggling. Another thing that boggles my mind is that a man can have sex with as many women as he wants and he is just perfecting his technique. Plus this same guy is considered a hot item by women and a celebrated hero by men. Women on the other hand are seen as someone carrying an STD or just too easy for comfort. Even more surprising a woman cannot talk about her sex life to other women for fear of being judged too harshly. The word promiscuous alludes to a prostitute or a woman of the night so there is no good adjective for a woman with sexual experience. Although a man with sexual experience relates his knowledge to “baseball” since each time he gets a woman in his bed, he “scores a home run.”
What does everyone else think? Should Americans end this sexual double standard? Will the United States ever become “liberal” and allow women to be as sexual active as men? What is wrong with women have multiple sex partners? Do you think that women should have sex lives? Why or why not? When can women relate their sexual experience to a game just as men do? Ladies is it fair to consider your knowledge as a disadvantage? Are there any public advantages in women having sexual experience? Who do you prefer in your bed, the virgin or the whore? Is it possible to be both or something in between the two labels?